I am Learning

This Shared Awareness presents an intimate and deep look at some of the awareness I have gained through difficult and painful life lessons within the realm of personal relationships. Many of these life lessons had been difficult for me to reconcile with having had a confused and cloudy concept of unconditional love and forgiveness. Until I found that I could truly unconditionally love someone and realize forgiveness without that meaning I had to reopen myself to an unsafe and destructive relationship.

I imagine that I am not alone in this struggle and confusion. I imagine that there are others out there facing and walking through similar life lessons. Facing the taboo of separating from family who are destructive and abusive, because family is family.

I am continuing to learn and anchor the awareness that we can truly love everyone, truly love unconditionally, we can accept them and honor their personal path without this love, acceptance and honor requiring our being subject to unacceptable, destructive, abusive behavior.

Within the Realm of Personal Relationships I am Learning . . .

¨ I am learning that I can unconditionally love someone without unconditional love requiring me to participate in an unsafe, destructive, abusive, controlling, manipulative relationship.

¨ I am learning that I can forgive, I can let go and I can exchange pain for peace without forgiveness requiring me to allow someone who continues to demonstrate destructive, manipulative, abusive behavior back into my life.

¨ I am learning to remain open to healing, to remain open to realizing a healed relationship with those who are currently unsafe to participate with, learning to remain open to a healed reality without putting my life on hold, without waiting for change that is out of my control.

¨ I am learning that it is not only NOT my responsibility, it is also not within my personal power to heal the destructive behavior practiced by another person nor is it my responsibility to heal the underlying issues/causes that they carry.

¨ I am learning my responsibility is to recognize my role within the situation, to work toward healing and transcending my role within the negative cycles, behavior and/or patterns that cooperate with the negative cycles/patterns and behavior of the other party.

¨ I am learning that I alone set the standard for how I will be treated. I teach others how to treat me by what I am willing to accept and experience.

¨ I am learning that while I hold a vision of a healed reality, while I maintain a vibration of love and healing, that positive energy will help to keep my own vibration high and in alignment with the integrity of my Higher Enlightened Self. I am learning that although I hold a space of love and healing, that that energy will be effective to those who are willing and receptive to the vibration of love and healing. I am learning to honor the free will of all involved, including honoring the free will of others to realize a healed reality as well as their free will to choose not to.

¨ I am learning that it is OK to set boundaries with those who demonstrate harmful, destructive, manipulative, controlling, abusive behavior. I am learning that setting boundaries for these reasons is OK even when the boundaries entail family.

¨ I am learning that sometimes the best way to honor my mother, to honor my father, to honor brother, sister, aunt, and/or uncle, etc. is to set clear boundaries that do not allow, condone, or give way to any destructive, controlling, manipulative, abusive behavior.

¨ I am learning that it is OK to completely refrain from participating within ANY relationship when the person repetitively and habitually demonstrates destructive, abusive behavior. I am learning that guilt associated with refraining from such relationships is a learned response and not indicative of my doing something wrong.

¨ I am learning that EVERYTHING that I attract and experience is NOT simply a direct reflection of my own thoughts, actions and/or reflection of my personal vibration. I am learning that what I attract and experience also reflects life lessons that I chose to experience within this lifetime for my soul’s growth and ascension.

¨ I am learning that not everyone will understand what I am personally learning, that not everyone will agree with the choices I make in relation to these life lessons. I am learning that this is OK. I am learning that the integrity of my personal path is not determined by the opinion/approval of others.

¨ I am learning that time heals my heart and brings peace to my mind only through my willingness and through my decision and sincere desire to heal and to realize peace and through my willingness to take action in support of this realization.

¨ I am learning that at this stage in my life, I am not willing to continue to experience the same destructive patterns and negative cycles in relationships as I have in the past. I am learning that it is OK to be selective with whom I choose to spend my time with.

¨ I am learning that Divine Justice, Divine Order and Divine Balance are DIVINE. I am learning that if I focus on the need and desire for justice – on the desire for karma to be realized and experienced, this focus brings my vibration very low and keeps my awareness within the very cycle that I desire to transcend. I am learning to trust that the Divine Source is Just, to trust within the Divine Order and Divine Balance within All things. I am learning to focus wholly on my own integrity, to see the blessing within the experience and to hold a focus of love for all within my life, including (perhaps especially) for those who I perceive have caused me pain.

¨ I am learning that through my humanness, that although I strive to maintain an awareness of love, some days, some moments it is easier to hold a focus of love than at other times. At times when it is difficult to hold that awareness, I am learning to call upon the Angels, Ascended Masters, Goddesses, Guardians and Guides. I give these Celestial Light Beings any anger and any lower vibrating energy I am experiencing, and hold my awareness within their loving grace, allowing my vibration to raise once again to a space of love and peace for all.

¨ I am learning that despite the circumstances, despite the exchanges here in the physical life, that ALL those within my life are my beloved soul family, our relationships transcend the physical existence and within this soul vibration our love is truly eternal and unconditional. I am learning that those who I have experienced the greatest pain with have provided platforms for my highest learning and I honor them for the roles that they agreed to play within my life.

¨ I am learning that I am Remembering My Personal Truth. I am learning that I am simultaneously learning and unlearning. I am learning that I have yet to learn it all and I reserve the right to continue to learn, to continue to change, grow and evolve.

Fellow Voyager, Rhiannon Barkemeijer de Wit

Special Note:

Not all abuse is experienced as physical or verbal. Abusive - destructive behavior also includes manipulation, controlling, guilt tripping, belittling, gossiping, back stabbing and maligning, violent outbursts, threatening, forcing, bullying, intimidating, denying, and blaming.

We all have the right to live in peace, within loving, supportive – SAFE environments. If you and/or those who are under your care (children and/or pets) are in an unsafe situation – whether it be physically, mentally and/or emotionally – Please call for help. Either call 911 if the situation is an emergency or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-7233 (staffed 24 hours).